I Have A Dream....

When You're Alone......

2011-09-10T18:06:00.003+08:00

I was visiting some of my friends FB just now......

They have changed while I am still the same.......

Wish I can meet them but I am not ready.......

The last time I met them was when I we were having a bachelor's party......

But now things has passed by..............

Maybe I am not ready yet.....

To all my friends, thanks for all the prayer........

I will always love you guys........

You guys are the lights in my darkest life.......

Ramadhan 1432 Hijr

2011-08-14T00:02:00.005+08:00

It's been long since I wrote something blog......

The last times I wrote was about some stupid thing about some Utusan reporter.....

And before that it was full of killing myself, revenge, break up, heartbroken, hatred, and bloody revenge.......

And all of that was lat year........

Since early this year, I was trying to find myself. I look inside myself and I couldn't find anything, just an empty shell of myself. I keep on trying until I was nearly gave up. Life was miserable. Things doesn't go as well as I planned. Most of nights I feel sad and lonely. There were few times I was thinking on ending my life straight away. Since I live alone in my own house now, if I kill myself literally, people will only realize most likely a week after that.

I think I have a lot of friends, the truth is they are not real friends. They are just people pretending to be my friends. I thought they are like my family. I care about them so much. In the end, what they did was just back stab me. What a cruel world.

I keep on searching for my life. It was until the early Ramadhan. I felt sick. The worst ever. I can't even breath. And I was alone, even the person that was so close to me doesn't even care. He just sleep. I was petrified. This time I was hit to the lowest of my life. I am hungry and have no energy at all. When I woke up, the thing just hit me.

Before this, I pretend too much. I pretend I am praying, the truth I am not. I pretend I am fasting, the truth I am not. I pretend I am a good person, the truth I am not. Suddenly, I was thinking. Why must I pretend? Why don't I just do it because I want to do it. I have been wasting so much time of my life for pretending. And then I realize all the bad things happen to me because I never tell the truth in my life.

Maybe I am a good grifter. I learn how to cheat, act and grift since I was kid. I am so good at it up until nobody can know what is the truth inside me. In fact I am not sure if I have any truth inside me at all. How am I suppose to have friends if most of the time I keep on grifting to play my part my well? I am not to be trusted because I never trust anybody. I only consider few people (less than five to be honest) to be my friends.

Since then, I think I should stop all those thing. Stop pretending, acting, cheating and grifting. just show the truth about yourself. And I feel much more peace inside me. Slowly, things start to come back to me. Things start to change in a good way. Now I realize, I was on the wrong road for so long up until I forget to turn back to the right one.

For me, maybe this month will full of blessing can help me to become a better person. Hopefully I can keep the momentum going and give me some time to get accustom to my new routine.

p/s: I do hope one person which is the closest friend of me read this. If you read this you know how to find me. I am sorry for all the trouble I cause you.

UTUSAN MALAYSIA - Stop Writing if You Have No Idea to Write....Sometimes Silence is Much Better.......

2010-12-07T18:23:00.002+08:00

I was referring to this article......

http://www.utusan.com.my/utusan/info.asp?y=2010&dt=1010&pub=utusan_malaysia&sec=Rencana&pg=re_05.htm&arc=hive

That was seriously funny for mainstream media that were highly regard for a few people to write such articles......

It shows, lack of creativity and idea for the reporter. If you want to write about a students, let me give you a few topics if you really serious about writing an article:

a) The Students Failure Rate: Decreasing or Increasing??

b) Quality Graduates : The Seven Attributes

c) Oversea Program : Effectiveness on Country Manpower Development

d) Well Rounded Graduate : Can Doctors be a Musician?

e) Graduates Students vs Research Papers : Why the numbers mismatch???

Those a only a few, why you should write with something that has no purpose at all????

The column itself was called 'Salam Perantauan'. Before the era of internet, anybody who stay far apart from their family is consider 'Perantau'. So UTP students is also a 'Perantau'. It just, in the current era, where communication is much easier, only abroad students are called perantau. There is no specific reason for it, but we should stop this double standard. Anyway UTP is also an international university in case you forget to research it.

To Noraini Abd Razak (noraini.razak@utusan.com.my), I am seriously suggesting you to stop writing unless you really has anything to write. One more question, what is your credentials? I assume you never step in into any college, which give a good reason why you never has that experience. Only people that has gone to college has that experience. I am sorry but do not talk things that you have no idea at all.

p/s: I have boycotted Utusan for incorrect information and bias reports....media should be highly unbiased to maintain its integrity...let the readers decide.......Media was supposed to pass information and unbiased analysis......and let the audience comprehend and deduce from their own persepective.....it seems that I have make a really good decision back then...........

Fighting a Tough Battle.......

2010-11-29T01:27:00.003+08:00

Have you ever encounter a situation where somebody is throwing another battle for you to fight?? And by accepting the fight, you will hurt the peoples were so close to you like your family and there is a possibility that you will ruin one of the momento in your family.....

If that happen what will you do?? Will you fight back or will you retreat and revenge for justice later????

I recently encounter that situation. Well, I choose to fight back, but my way of fighting is much more unique. I wont throw the first missile but I will put up all my guards and set up a trap. I'll will till the first missile is thrown at me. Will all the traps, it won't hit me at all. In fact, it will backfire to that person. The traps that I set may not trigger immediately. It may be trigger in another week, month, year or maybe it will take as long as you want. That is my silence revenge. I will never retreat.

Today, somebody has been added directly under my long list of 'The Most Hatred People in My Life'. As far as I know, few has been successfully eliminated. Simple way of speaking, I have KILLED them silently and it will never traceback to me. And by the name of killing, they will never be able to take revenge. It just unfortunate things, that for few unique reason suddenly, that somebody has been flagged down in that list as my top priority.......and that somebody has been honored to get the top priority ratings.

Right now, I'm planning another operation. Just wait and see.........You should know much better not to ever do that..........My operation runs deeper underground..........

p/s: Revenge is the sweetest thing ever...............If you want to shoot somebody, make sure you kill them.......Else take knitting.......

Finally the Pheonix is Alive

2010-11-23T01:11:00.002+08:00

KILLING is the key to success.....

The art of KILLING is the darkest secret ever.....

KILLING in silence is the greatest weapon ever....

KILLING yourself is the beginning of RESURRECTION........

I have KILL myself perfectly............

And now I rise AGAIN.....after a terrible RESURRECTION and RESTORATION....

Now i was REBORN as a new me......

All the link has been KILLED......

Young man, you are no longer the old kind-hearted......you master the art of KILLING....you master the art of negotiations.....you now able to plan a plot of KILLING in silent....too perfect to be detected........your infiltration is beyond reach.......

Is this the real you???? Yes I am.....From now on you luive only to KILL people you hate the most......

My Silence is My Death.......

2010-10-13T19:59:00.002+08:00

I have been so SILENT for quite sometimes.....

I am no longer living in HELL........

I am suffering a serious heart disease which is BROKEN HEARTED.....

I've met someone but never confess my FEELINGS......

I fell so EMPTY and LONELY........

I was BETRAYED by somebody near to me.....

I increase the number of people that I HATE.....

I just suffer severe TRAUMA when I lost my most valuable......

I am TIRED as I am moving again......

I keep on hoping GOOD things will come when there are only BAD things happen.....

I am trying to KILL the real me.....

I will be REBORN from ashes....

SO, MY SILENCE IS MY DEATH........

p/s: To all my friends, I am in the middle of killing myself....from now, expect no news from me at all.....

p/s: To all my enemy, congratulations.....you manage to kill me finally.....see you in HELL.....

Eps 3: I'm Alive.....

2010-07-07T11:17:00.005+08:00

I'm still alive right now.....

I've met somebody last week....

I've started going out again.....

I'm looking for oppurtunity......

And I'm still searching.......

Break.....

2010-06-21T13:31:00.002+08:00

jangan pernah katakan bahwa.....cintamu hanayalah untukmu....kerna kini kau telah pun membaginya...maafkan jika memang....harus kutinggalkan dirimu...kerna hatiku selalu kau lukai....tak ada lagi yang bisaku lakukan tanpamu...kuhanya bisa mengatakan apa yang kurasa.....ku menangis membayangkan......betapa kejamnya dirimu atas diriku.....kau duakan cinta ini.....kau pergi bersamanya......kumenangis melepaskan.....kepergian dirimu dari sisi hidupku...harus lah kau tahu....akulah hati yang kau sakiti.....

Eps 2: And the Life Continues....

2010-06-21T11:40:00.002+08:00

After a week of miserable life, I was trying to bounce back. I try to live as before even it is much harder now.....

At first I was thinking on to keep my status quo as a single person.But think back I was never single for a really long period. I was always in a relationship with someone, sometimes it was a long one and sometimes it was a really short one. I always have somebody to accompany me for dinner, going out, movies and many other things.

I learn to keep keep moving on by myself. Sometimes I share it with my closest friends ever but most of the time I keep it to myself. Still right now, I am trying to get my feet back on the ground. I try to see the opportunity that comes ahead. Also the positive side of this break up. In the end, I just need to Keep Moving On....it is not the end of the world but to completely erase it from my head, it will take million years.

Part of me, I want to KILL you away.....but part of me I MISS you badly..........

You're the reason I'm ALIVE......but you're also the reason I'm DEAD.....

Eps 1 : Finally the End is Over......

2010-06-15T10:04:00.002+08:00

Have you ever thought of ending a relationship? Yes, ending a relationship was never a sweet memory. It will be painful, excruciating and millions of cry. Sometimes it included yelling cursing and screaming and each other. So in a life cycle of a relationship, to begin the End of any relationship will be toughest part as you wish that this think will never happen.

I myself always try to avoid that part. To start the End of a relationship is something I wish didn't happen at all. Eventough, I am fine to end the relationship, but I always hope it is done in a good manner. Fo heaven's sake, it was never happen that way. Most of the time I feel like killing part of myself. And a very good reason for that, I have kind of strong memory of everything and I can recall those memory without I realize it. For example, if I past a place where we use to eat, suddenly all the memories will come one by one without fail. So I have to avoid those places to ensure I didn't recall it at all.

Anyway, at the end of The End I just realize that I have to just move on. The world is not over yet. There a few times where I think I want to do something really damn stupid, then my senses up and alive again so I stop doing it. Normally, I'll just keep on alinating myself during The End period. I just go drive anywhere, hang out alone at a very secluded places that I only knew and go to the places I've never been to. The only time I can cry is when I am alone by myself in my own world as it is quite hard for me to cry. After everything is over I finally move on and try to act normaly again but I just realize things will never be the same again....So this song is really meaningfull to me right now.....

Teruskan langkah melupakanmu....Lelah hati perhatikan sikapmu....Jalan pikiran mu buat ku ragu......Tak mungkin ini tetap bartahan........Perlahan mimpi terasa mengganggu.......Kucoba untuk terus menjauh.......Perlahan hati ku terbelenggu........Ku coba untuk lanjutkan kan hidup........Engkau bukan lah segalaku......Bukan tempat tuk menghentikan langkahku.....Usai sudah semua berlalu......Biar hujan menghapus jejakmu.......

p/s: tbc again.....

Prelude : Akhirnya.......

2010-06-10T11:58:00.003+08:00

Akhirnya......Segalanya terjawab sudah......Tiada lagi keraguan.....Tiada lagi persoalan.....Yang tinggal hanyalah kenangan.......

Kiniku kusendiri meniti hari.....Kala sunyi yang melanda sepi....Alam bisu bagaikan mengerti......Berakhirnya sebuah memori....Kini kumelangkah membawa diri...Kerna cinta kini dikhianati.....Bukan tak sanggup kumenghadapi.......Pengorbanan tak dihargai......

Segala yang berlaku hanya tinggal memori.....Yang tak mungkin dapat dipadam untuk selamanya.....Biarpun hanya tinggal memori duka....

Mungkin juga semuanya salah ku.........Terlalu mengharapkan cinta........Tapi sepi yang merasuk kalbu..........Membawa angan melayang.........Di dalam mimpi kita berdua.......Mesra bersama dilamun cinta........Tetapi kenyataannya aku sedar kau ada dia.

Tiada lagi tangisan...Tiada lagi airmata....Membasahi jiwa duka........Yang tinggal hanyalah memori duka......

Kisah kita yang panjang.....Kini berakhir sudah.....

Berakhirlah kisah cinta....Kisah cinta kau dan aku.....Yakinlah aku yang terluka....Sebenarnya aku pun terluka.....Tak kupinta...Akhirnya begini.....

Tapi aku tak mampu memiliki bahagia.....Andai sukar untuk mencintai dan memilikimu.....Sukar lagi melihat kau pergi......

Inikah akhirnya.......Tinggallah lara di sini.........Terpadamlah api kasih......Setelah dikau pergi........Telah kukorbankan........Sudah aku curahkannya.......Semua kasih suci pada dirimu.....Takku mahu asmara kan hancur menjadi debu......Takku mahu dirimu bukan lagi kasihku......Dan di sini tinggallah aku menantikan kasih......Sesaat berlalu bertahun kurasa......

Kini hanyalah tinggal kenangan.......Segala yang berlalu akan kusimpan dalam lipatan memori......Biarlah ia menjadi........Cerita Indah Namun Tiada Arah

p/s: To be continued......

And There Goes the Weirdo.....

2010-06-02T14:37:00.002+08:00

It took some time before I have the idea and time to write something on my blog.

On 30 May 2010, my best friends finally get married with the girls of fis life. It's Limau this time. Ok, I didn't go to the wedding as I cought up with something at the very last minute. Sorry mate, but I did come at night to his house to show and explain everything to him.

Anyway, Conratulation to Limau and Deeba and I hope they will live happily ever after.

And The Angel Get Married......

2010-05-05T12:02:00.004+08:00

Remember my post regarding the Bachelor's Party.

Well, on 17 April 2010, the angel of the group get married. The wedding ceremony and the akad nikah was held at Venice Hill Condo, Cheras and was done in one day. The akad nikah in the morning and the ceremony on the evening. For me, it is quite nice as I just need one day off to be there and cherish the moment with.

The wedding concept was English Garden wedding. It was so nice and as a matter of fact that was the kind of wedding I wish I could have the chance to organize. It is simple and fabulous. The off-white/pink theme was so nice and suits her well. Enoigh said, it was perfect from the start till the end.

On the day itself, I was at her house from 8.30 in the morning. That was kinda weird because I am just her friend but I was there asif I am part of her family. Anyway, for me I want to be there during the akad because I know both of them really well. And to be honest her wedding was the only wedding where I prepare two different attire for a day. Baju Melayu for the akad nikah and Blue Shirts for the wedding ceremony itself. And I left around 4.30 in the evening.

Last word, I am so happy that finally that she's finally married to the man that she love and can take care of her. To Yus and Abang Lan, conratulations and may both of you will live happily ever after.

Some of the pictures taken from my SE Satio Phone.

p/s: Courtesy to Yus for using her wedding picture in my blog. For more about her wedding, please visit The Wedding Dream

Two Days to Go.......Saat Terakhir...

2010-04-29T15:11:00.002+08:00

Tak pernah terpikir olehku......Tak sedikitpun ku bayangkan.....Kau akan pergi tinggalkan kusendiri.....Begitu sulit kubayangkan......Begitu sakit ku rasakan......Kau akan pergi tinggalkan ku sendiri.....Dibawah batu nisan kini.......Kau telah sandarkan.....Kasih sayang kamu begitu dalam.....Sungguh ku tak sanggup......Ini terjadi karna ku sangat cinta.....Inilah saat terakhirku melihat kamu......Jatuh air mataku menangis pilu......Hanya mampu ucapkan.....Selamat jalan kasih.......Satu jam saja kutelah bisa cintai kamu di hatiku.......Namun bagiku melupakanmu butuh waktuku seumur hidup.......Satu jam saja kutelah bisa sayangi kamu… di hatiku.....Namun bagiku melupakanmu butuh waktuku seumur hidup.......Di nanti ku……

Two more days to go....after all the things that we have been through together....the time come...hope I am strong enough face this and continue with my life....

Freelance Website Designer.....

2010-04-06T17:53:00.003+08:00

Anybody wants to make a website??? You have a limited budget but eager to communicate your business or organization to the borderless world....

I might have the answer for that....

visit http://www.gambitdesign.my/ for more info.....

Drama King.....

2010-04-05T18:08:00.004+08:00

In my life, I've met few people that can be called a 'Drama King' or 'Drama Queen'. This people is the people that are included in my 'Most Hatred People in the World'. So if it happen you figure out that you were in my list stay away from at all cost, even if it will take a million miles to do that......do it. Else you're dead by the time you wake up up from the bed next morning.....

Anyway I have a simple dedication for those people....listen this....

Kali pertama aku mengenalimu...Mahu bersama.....Mahu bersama.....Raut wajahmu bersih....Meyakinkan hati ini.....Aku terpaut.....Semua dusta palsu....Aku tertipu.....Keperibadianmu.....Berubah menurut nafsu....Panggilanmu gelaranmu.....Baru ku tahu....Lakon layarmu hebat.....Terpukau ku melihat....Isi hati murahan....Sampai bila....Kau mahu tersesat.....Tidak kau penat.....Hidup penuh muslihat.....Mahkotamu Raja Drama.....Kau masih berpura-pura.....Kata-katamu hanya propaganda.....Mengejar hijau ungu......Mata kelabu.....Ini bukan kau yang pernah ku kenal dulu.....Panggilanmu gelaranmu.....Baruku tahu......Panggilanmu gelaranmu.....Baru ku tahu.....Kau bertakhta....Bagai maharaja di atas lembah.....Lakon layarmu yang terhebat.....Memukau mata melihat.....Tidak kau penat....Hidup penuh dengan tipu muslihat....Sampai bila Raja Drama.....Sampai bila Raja Drama......Tidak kau penat.....Hidup penuh dengan tipu muslihat......Sampai bila Raja Drama......Sampai bila Raja Drama....Tidak kau penat.......Hidup penuh dengan tipu muslihat.....

The Bachelors and Bachelorette Party...

2010-03-12T16:43:00.005+08:00

On 27 February, my friends during college was having the all for one 'Bachelor's Party'.

Why it is called all for one?? Simple explanation to that was the party is for all five of us as most of us will be moving to a new phase in life (read: married). Technically speaking, one has actually married and no longer a bachelor but we did not have a party for him last time. Two is engaged and will be married this year. One is engaged and will probabily be married next year. One which is me, still searching for the best of other half for his life. So it can be said I am the only bachelor in the group and will holding the title 'Most Eligible Bachelor in Town'.

Tha party was fun. We are having two hours karaoke at Ampang par. We then adjourned to McD to have a late dinner up untill three. Here the usual routine took place, we talk, we chat, sharing stories, gossip, and changing few updates. The guys later on continue at pelita Ampang as Yus have to go home.

So the picture of the event...

So the five of us....

Irman Bakti Alias - Known as Iba. Was my longest roommate in college. He is the funnier in the group. He is no longer bachelor as he was married to Ely on 10 october last year. Now in Kuantan, but was originally from Sg Buloh. I remember on one Hari Raya, I went to his house with Limau and we gossipping till 1 am and ended up sleeping at his house during the first day of Hari Raya. Hahahah

Yusnida Yusof - Known as Yus. The only lady in the group. We are like guardian to her but now she manage to find her own guarding. Which is her fiancee, Abang Lan. Will be married on this April. There is one time we went to JB for 'buka puasa' with her to cheer her up.

Sulaiman Sidek - Known as Limau. The weirdo of the group. He is the only person that are not the same course as us. He is chemical engineering student. But he hang up with us more often than his classmate. He is the most kind person in the group. Engaged and will be married to Deeba in May.

Moahamad Faizul Mohamad Aziz - Known Pejol. The one that balance the group. He is the kind of 'baik' guy. He is my best buddies till now. In fact, he knows most of my secret. He keeps advice me to keep my head high up and look for betterment. Also engaged and will be married to .........(dont know her name) most likely next year.

Mohd Fuad Zulkeflee - That's me. Still single and available. I am the black sheep of the group. Not working the same company as them and always has different opinion from other people. I was like a demon in the group........

So that is the story of us........hoping that we can keep this thing long enough....

p/s: I am the 'Most Eligible Bachelor in Town'...........................

My Nephew.....

2010-02-23T15:03:00.005+08:00

It's quite sometimes since I blogging my last post......

Anyway, this is not a real post, just to share a pic of my nephew....

First: Faizal.....my cousin's first son.....taken at my aunt's house on 21 February...we are having a 'kenduri aqiqah' for my cousin...

Second: Faheem...my sister's son....taken at her house in Shah Alam....

Third: Fazli.....Faizal's younger brother....same info as his brother......

p/s: Eddy...if you read this...contact me will you!!!!!

25 January 2010 - In The Office

2010-01-25T12:35:00.002+08:00

I cut my hair yesterday after tired with the messy hair. So I tak the liberty to capture my new look while in the office and here it is....

And yesterday (24 January 2010) is one of my best friend's birthday. It's Limau and yes Limau, you are one year older now. Soon he will get nmarried and start a new life. Happy birthday to you and may the happiness be always with you.

First Day In The Office

2010-01-04T13:48:00.003+08:00

My first pic in the office in 2010 using my new handphone (Sony Ericson SATIO).....This was taken after I was on a very long leave. Basically I was on leave the whole December....

p/s: I've got a new handphone....

Harus Ku Yang Pergi

2010-01-04T12:55:00.002+08:00

Berakhirlah kisah cinta......Kisah cinta kau dan aku.....Yakinkanlah hatimu yang duka.....Sebenarnya aku pun terluka.....Takku pinta.....Akhirnya kubegini...Mengapa diriku yang kau cinta......Jika hatimu pada dirinya.......Takkau fikir......Akhirnya kita kecewa.....Sayang maafkanlah aku......Jika pintaku begini....Tak sanggup ku menanggung.....Rindu yang tiada hujungnya......Kerana ku masih setia.....Cinta tiada kesempatan......Pada dia yang ku sayang.....Kasih yang kucurahkan.......Menikam rasa jiwa ini.......Gelaplahpintu cinta kita..Sayang.....Harus ku yang pergi dulu..

Goodbye 2009....Welcome 2010...Happy New Year

2010-01-04T11:34:00.002+08:00

First, happy new year to everybody before it is too late....

For me this is my first new year that i celebrate at home, watching movies alone. What does it mean??? No party, no fireworks, no everything....hahaha...what a lame....

2009 in essence...

A really bad year from every aspect. I was not happy in life, in job and in everything. Few fights, few broke up and I don't know what else to say. Not to forget the incidents happen on Halloween. Wow, I am really surprise I still alive to tell the stories. Judging back I maybe already jump out from 13 floor and get it done. Gosh it just too much.

2010 in hope....

Well just wish me luck for the job first and the rest will be later. I do hope this year I will finally get serious in relationship. But I never expect anything for this year anymore.

Anyway......Goodbye all the 2009 with all the love and hurts...may it wash down till it is clear like a crystal...Welcome 2010......expecteing a better year this year....

Nukilan Hati.....

2009-12-26T10:15:00.004+08:00

Biarkan waktu teruslah berputar ....Mencintai kamu penuh rasa sabar......Meski sakit hati ini kau tinggalkan......Ku ikhlas tuk bertahan.....Cintaku padamu begitu besar......Namun kau tak pernah bisa merasakan......Meski sakit hati ini kau tinggalkan......Ku ikhlas tuk bertahan.......Kau meninggalkanku tanpa perasaan.......Hingga ku jatuhkan air mata.....Kekecewaan ku sungguh tak berarah.....Biarkan ku harus bertahan........Jangan pernah kau cuba untuk berubah......Tak relakan yang indah hilanglah sudah......Jangan pernah kau cuba untuk berubah.......Ku relakan yang indah dalam hatinya

Aku tak ingin kau menangis bersedih.......Sudahi air mata darimu.........Yang aku ingin arti hadir diriku.......Kan menghapus dukamu sayang.........Karna bagiku kau kehormatanku......Dengarkan dengakan aku.........Hanya satu pintaku untukmu dan hidupku.......Baik baik sayang ada aku untukmu.......Hanya satu pintaku disiang dan malammu..........Baik baik sayang karna aku untukmu........Semua keinginan akan aku lakukan........Sekuat semampuku sayang.......Karna bagiku kau kehormatanku........Dengarkan dengakan aku

p/s: Nukilan hati, bicara jiwa, luahan emosi.....merawat luka terpendam....

The Godfather.......

2009-11-30T11:09:00.002+08:00

First, this is not a post about the movie 'The GodFather'. I am writing this after I was on leave for two days and plus one day for Hari Raya Aidiladha. So before it is too late, Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha to everybody.

Ok, now back to the original topic. On 29 November, my sister held a simple housewarming gathering since she and her family has move to a new house in Shah Alam. So this gathering is basically a combination of housewarming, Hari raya feast and also a birthday party for his son which is also my nephew, Ameerul Faheem. His birthday is actually today (30 Nov), so he is one year old now.

So during, my relatives came in and that include two of my godson. Faizal and Fazli. Since their dad is working abroad, so their grandparents taking care of them and I am typically their godfather because their fathe is my cousin and is very close to me since we were kids. So let's just enjoy their picture during the feast while sleeping.

p/s: They are so cute.....

My Best Friend's Wedding......

2009-11-19T14:35:00.007+08:00

It was on 10 october 2009, when the first of my special group during my college time get married. Well he was my rommate, in fact he was the longest rommate I've ever been with. Finally he ended up his bachelor time when I am still holding the title of 'Most Eligible Bachelor in Town ' (berani mampos).......hahhaha

Anyway, some picture to shared with everybody.....

The people in the picture was Limau, Jalal, Aris, Me, Pejol, Iba (Groom), Eli (Bride)

Missing is Yus (she was stuck in traffic jam cause she was attending another wedding in Rawang).

All of us (the male) was housemates in college.

All of us (except Limau and Aris) was a coursemate in college. Eventhough, limau is always mistakenly assume as our coursemates.

Good Luck to SPM 2009 Candidates.......

2009-11-18T13:46:00.005+08:00

Today is the first day of Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM) 2009. . To all of SPM 2009 candidates , I personally wish all of you good luck. Not to forget my little brother that also sit the exam at SMT Gombak.

I still remember the time I sit for my SPM which was on year 200o. I took my SPM far away from my family in a northern state of Malaysia which is Kedah. The reason is I was in the boarding school that time. It was fun, as we actually chill out and the school belongs to us only. No juniors and we have the whole school compound to us. The other thing, a lot of parents and teachers actually came and send us food to eat. So we did have fun when have all the food to eat together. Being one of the students that stay far away really an advantage as the teacher seems to focus to me.

The most memorable thing was the final paper which was Biology. It was during the second day of fasting and all of us did not sleep that night. We instead playing 'mercun' and 'meriam' untill four in the morning. I went to sleep at 4 when suddenly my head prefect woke me up for 'sahur' and I yelled at him telling him I only slept for half an hour. Finally I woke up at 5 am to 'sahur'. It was damn sleepy during the paper and it only took me 25 minutes to answer the first paper and 1 hour 15 minutes for the second paper. The rest, I fall asleep during the exam. It was fun.

Well SPM results never the best for me. I just get enough so I still can pursue my education in a private institution, but the experience is really fun.

So, to all SPM 2009 candidates, enjoy and have fun with the exam and you will notice the force will be with you. Remember SPM is not the end of the world. There a lot more things that maybe suit you well. You just need to live with it. Final words from me....

GOOD LUCK

In Preparation for A Long Leave.....

2009-11-18T07:03:00.002+08:00

Since I start work on 3 April 2006, I hardly took a very long leave. The consequence of that, I always have a lot of annual leave being kept in a bank to be used one day (obviously if I live long enough to use that). However, current economic situation makes me reset my perspective. Instead of keeping it in a bank, I plan to clear off my annual leave for this year. So, here are the math for my annual leave.

2009 Annual Leave : 20 Days
2008 Carry Forward : 15 Days
2009 Leave Used : 1 Day

Total Annual Leave To Date : 34 Days

Planned Annual Leave :

20 November : 1 Day (due to Agos Wedding)
25 - 26 Nov : 2 Days
7 - 31 Dec : 16 Days

Total Planned : 19 Days

2009 Carry Forward : 15 Days.

So, I have approximately 9 days left to work....hahahah

Finally.....This Is It.......

2009-11-12T15:27:00.003+08:00

"Hi..."

"Bad news"

"What?"

"Every window is open now. You have to check the MOR."

"A what? What happen?"

"Check your mails and you will know..."

I was dumbfounded when I know the whole story. The things that everybody is waiting has come. What the hell is happening. It just too much? Now the battle is on for everybody.

p/s: Job related post......wish me luck....

101009....The Late Raya Story...

2009-11-10T13:33:00.004+08:00

Remember my last post showing me in the red Baju Melayu. Well, as many of you can guess, it is actually my Raya post. Actually it is too late to talk about it, taking into acount Hari Raya Haji is just around the corner, but I still keep my promise ok.

It was on 10 october 2009, I and my housemate (Lan and Halim) co-host the Hari Raya open house gathering with Troy, Abg Kid, Azhar and Jejet. The event was great as a lot of our friends come and celebrate the raya. The food was superb and it was cooked by Jejet's sister and Troy (even though I didn't had the chance to taste most of the food). We didn't expect a lot of crowd, but it seems like 100 people turn up and sharing the moment.

Anyway thanks to all that come to the event and not to forget the after party was great....hahahaha.

Some people in the pic.....Me, Wan Julie, Faizal, Nazri, Abg Man, J Lo, Abg Wan, Bobo, Kazaf, Abg Yan, Jejet, Jie, Noi, Intan, Lisa, Kak Imah, Atan, Kak Yoing and children, Tya, Lan, Yus, Awie, Fit, Halim, Azhar, Abg Kid, Shah

I Will Survive.....

2009-11-10T12:51:00.002+08:00

Last week (on the Halloween night), some bad things had happen to me. It is really damn bad. And the effect of it, I have to disappear for nearly one week. My handphone gone and I can't go anywhere.

It is really damn bad because of one fucking (sorry for being harsh) friend of mine (he was a friend...no longer in the list as I moved him to the other list) has sabotage me and all of my friends. It is really damn bad. I never knew a person could do that. Yes he get caught, but the price that I has to pay is like ten times greater than him. I feel really damn bad. Still I am lucky I have people around to care about me. For him, serve him right everybody left him.

I continue in Malay.....

Aku bengang gile aa ngan die. Adeke patut petik member aku???? Tak pasal2 aku kena sekali....Dahlaa ekonomi tengah gawat, pastu nak menyusahkan orang lak. Boleh tak, kalau nak buat jahat tu, tanggung sendiri akibatnya......Ni tak, kecik2 xnak mampos, besar2 menyusahkan orang.......pasni kalo die kena hentak ngan keloi pun aku x kisah....Sekarang ni aku tgh pikir camne nak citer kat kakak aku....kalo x mampos aku camni weh.....

Camne pun, aku bersyukur aku ade housemate yang memahami, dan sanggup bersusah payah, kawan2 yang sudi mendengar n menolong apa yang termampu...aku rasa aku cam nak bunuh diri aritu. Banyak sangat dah aku susahkan orang....tp bile pikir2 balik....amal aku x cukup kalo aku nak bunuh diri pun.....yang tau benda ni pun still x ramai......

Aku selalu terpikir kenapa laaa tahun ni cam sial....aku ade langgar pantang ke ke.....entahlaaa....10 tahun dulu (1999) aku rasa tahun tu cam sial gak aaaa.....time tu aku form 4......sekolah tgh renovate.....belajar cam sial....tp tahun berikutnya sama gak...maknanya aku nye nasib malak maybe sampai tahun depan kot...kalo ikut 10 years rule....hmmmm.....ntahlaaaa...

Ape2 pun skrg aku selamat....kepada mereka yang berkenaan no agung 0122406792 (setelah 5 tahun pakai) telah ditamatkan perkhidmatannye.....so pandai2laa korang nak delete no agung tu dr hp korang yer.....No baru aku hanya akan dimaklumkan kepada mereka yang berada dalam VVIP list aku sahaja....mereka yang x dapat no aku tu....paham2 jelaaa kenapa korang x dapat no tu....maknanya korang x cukup cantik, handsome, exclusive, glamour, popular or penting untuk berada dalam VVIP list aku....(mampos aku pasni..hahahah).....

My next move, next year aku nak wat part time ngajar tuisyen....utk subjek sekolah menengah....aku xleh ngajar dak skolah rendah...kang mampos anak orang aku bunuh......so sesape tau org yang memerlukan guru tuisyen utk subjek sains, math, add math, kimia, n fizik....or PKE......bgtau la kat aku yer.....chow

p/s: Sorry kali ni aku tulis tak ikut bahasa standard yang betul....aku tgh marah, tension n berserabiut...so pepaham jelaaaa

Song of The Month....Jangan Bersedih Lagi

2009-10-29T14:38:00.002+08:00

Kekasihku
Jangan bersedih lagi
Keringkanlah titisan air mata di pipi

Kekasihku
Tabahkan hatimu
Sekalipun tak pernah terduga
Halangan yang melanda
Melenyapkan
Impian bersama

Jangan dikesali
Atas apa yang terjadi
Mungkin rahmat sebaliknya
Membuahkan bahagia

Kekasihku
Aku tahu
Kita sama saling percaya
Tidak pernah
Ada dusta
Kasih antara kita
Jangan berduka....kekasihku
Jangan berdendam pada sesiapa
Bersabarlah
Menerima
Segala-galanya dengan redha

Mungkin suatu hari
Kita akan bersama lagi
Aku masih mengharap
Segalanya kan
Berulang semula

Happy birthday young man!!!

2009-10-27T03:27:00.003+08:00

Today i am officially 26. I feel great because this year birthday does not like last 2 years birthday. My small family make some small celebration for me. I am really happy because at least there is something for my birthday. Thanks for lan, abg kid, azhar, jejet, halim, awie, anjas, akim, julie, wan, fatra and mirul for cheering up my birthday. Love you all. So, happy birthday young man.

New Layout and New Gadgets....

2009-10-13T16:07:00.003+08:00

I was trying to update my blog layout. Ok, it doesn't work as it was suppose to be. By the way manage to include new widgets to my blog layout.

- Song of the month. This will be a place where you will listen to my song of the month. The selection of the song will be based on my mood of the month.

- BMI calculator. This is to promote a healthy life. I was inspired about living a healthy life after watching 'The Biggest Loser'. A man lost 183 pounds after the program. That such amazing.

So, this is my latest post. I was supposed to write on something but suddenly my pen just get blunt so here is the empty post. Nevermind, I'll be back on blogging soon.

Guess what is my next post, here is the hint.....

Friday In The Purple......

2009-10-09T12:06:00.002+08:00

Today is Friday. And....I decided to wear baju Melayu to the office.....Kind a weird because Friday is known as casual day for my office (meaning u can wear anything that u like).....but I want to wear baju Melayu beacuse I notice I have a lot pf baju Melayu and hardly I wear it......

And My Life Story Continues.........

2009-10-07T14:27:00.002+08:00

Lately, I've been thinking a lot of my life. It makes me recall the story of a big fish in a small pond. It feels big and in control of everything. I have that feeling up untill my secondary school. No real challenge for me. Life is just like piece of cake. So simple and so easy.

My perception change when I start my college time. I am now in a big ocean with all other fishes. It makes me feel small. That trend continues till now and life get tougher. Sometimes I manage to win the fight but most of the time I just give it up. It's too much to take. This is time where I reflect back my life and start to reset my perception of life.

Right now I am rebuilding what i have lost and miss. I am trying to gain back the control of my life even the journey is too tough for a single person. But who knows, I might be succcesfull one day.

I've been through a lot of things. The sweet, the sour, the soft and the hard of life. Along the journey, I've met so many people.The good, the bad, angle and demons, you name it. Those things and people are actually the colour of my life. One good thing, I have a very strong memory that I can remember people even I only met them for few seconds. The best part I can remember them for even I've met them 10 years ago. Thanks God for the special gifts.

For me, there is a lot more to come and I am in the middle of transitioning phase of life. And I always believe that I need to live as long as I can so I can cherish the life moment. Hope there is always a single light that will help me enlighten the road.

p/s: Some boring post when I am bored in the office....

A Dedication To A Special Person.....

2009-10-05T15:21:00.002+08:00

Dari semua yang aku jalani bersamamu....Kuingin engkau jadi milikku....Kuingin kau disampingku....Tanpa dirimu....Kuhanya manusia tanpa cinta....Dan hanya dirimu yang bisa...Membawa syurga dalam hatiku....Kuingin engkau menjadi milikku....Aku akan mencintaimu...Menjagamu selama hidupku....Dan akukan berjanji.....Hanyalah kaulah yang kusayangi....Kuakan setia din sini menemani....Sentuhanmu.....Bagaikan tangan sang dewi cinta.....Yang berhiaskan bunga asmara....Dan membuatku tak kuasa.....Di setiap arung gerakmu.....Tersimpan di hati kecilku.....Bahawa dirimu.....Terindah untukku....Selama kumasih bisa bertahan.....Selama kumasih bisa bernafas......Selama tuhan masih mengijinkan......Kuingin selalu menjagamu.....

Rasa lahirnya impianku......Bila terpandang wajahmu......Lirik senyuman kilauan mata....Memikat memukau jiwa ini......Ingin aku menyapa......Mahu ku kenali hatimu.......Kini ku sedari ini bukan biasa......Tak dapat aku lindungi perasaan......Engkau impian yang aku idamkan.....Kau yang ku puja, kau yang ku sanjung......Kau yang aku perlukan......Kau yang ku sayang, kau yang ku cinta.......Kaulah satu cinta terhalang........Engkau lafazkan perasaan........Setulus hati jiwamu......Penuh keikhlasan, penuh bermakna......Memikat hati dan naluriku.......Walau kau sedari......Kau tetapkan perasaanmu......Kau berikan cinta yang terpendam.......Walau ku tahu kita.......Tak mungkin bersama.......Tetap ku sanjung.…Cintamu yang suci walau terhalang

Pengertian Sebuah Cinta.....

2009-10-01T15:49:00.002+08:00

20 Tanda Sesorang Mencintaimu.....

1.X prnh mampu beri alasan kenapa dia mencintaimu. Yang dia tahu dihati dan matanya hanya ada kamu.
2. Walau kamu sudah ada teman istimewa, dia tidak peduli.yg penting kamu bahagia&kamu ttp menjadi impiannya.
3.Selalu terima kamu seadanya.Di mata dan hatinya kamu sentiasa yang tercantik walau kamu merasakan tidak.
4.Selalu ingin tahu tntg apa saja yg kamu lalui sepnjg hari.
5.Akan kirim SMS 'Selamat Pagi','Slmt Tidur','Take Care'&lain-lain,walau kamu xbalas SMS krn dgn kriman SMS itulah dia menyatakan cintanya.
6. Jika kamu menyambut hari jd dan x undangnya ke majlis,setidaknya dia akan telefon untuk mengucapkan selamat ulangtahun atau mengirimkan SMS..
7.Akan ingat tiap kejadian yang dia lalui dgn kamu.Bahkan mugkn kamu sendiri telah melupakannya.
8.Selalu ingat tiap kata-kata yang kamu ucapkan.
9.Akan belajar untuk menyukai apa yang kamu suka Walau terpaksa korbankan sesuatu.
10.Akan beri barang miliknya yang mgkn buat kamu itu adalah biasa tapi baginya ia sgt istimewa.
11.Akan terdiam sesaat tika sdg cakap ditelefon dgn kamu sehingga kamu jd bingung.Sbnrny saat itu dia rasa sgt gugup krn kamu menggegarkan dunianya.
12.Akan selalu ingin ada dekat dgn kamu dan ingin habiskan hari-harinya bersama kamu..
13.Kamu akan bertindak lebih seperti saudara daripada seperti seorang kekasih..
14.Sering melakukan perkara-perkara SENGAL seperti menelefon kamu 100 kali sehari,Sebenarnya dia asyk fikirkan kamu.
15.Jika kamu memintanya untuk mengajarkan sesuatu, dia akan begitu gembira kerana dapat membantu kamu.
16.Jika kamu melihat H/Pnya, maka nama kamu akan menghiasi sebahagian besar INBOXnya. Dia masih menyimpan SMS-SMS dari kamu walaupun kamu telah kirimkannya beberapa hari, minggu, bulan atau tahun. Kerana bgnya setiap pemberianmu adalah berharga walaupun SMS..
17.Jika kamu cuba menjauhkan diri darinya atau memberi reaksi menolaknya,dia akan hindarimu dan menghilang dari hidupmu walau perkara itu membunuh hatinya..
18.Jika satu saat kamu merindukannya dan ingin memberikannya kesempatan, dia akan menunggu kamu kerana sebenarnya dia tidak pernah mencari orang lain.
19.X pernah memaksa kamu memberinya sebab dan alasan walau hatinya meronta ingin tau krn dia xmahu kamu terbeban dgn kerenahnya.
20.Saat kamu pinta dia berlalu, dia akan pergi tanpa menyalahkan kamu kerana dia benar-benar mengerti apa itu cinta..

Again, I've found this from the blog of a person I am not sure if I fall in love with. To R......., I do hope you can understand how much I love you even both of us know there is no way we can fall in love together.

p/s: .........................

Decision.....

2009-10-01T15:25:00.002+08:00

Why we always have to make a decision?

Why decision is so difficult to be made?

Why we can't know the results of our decision we made?

Why every decision is very risky?

Why there is always a price to be paid for every decision that we made?

And I have to decide.......even I can't even say it up front.

p/s: Ku tak tahu antara dua.....

The Time Has Come....

2009-09-30T17:30:00.002+08:00

Finally the time has come.....

The person is back and asking the question that I am expected.

I can't give the answer........

I can't make any decision.....

p/s: Maaf ku tak bisa memilih dirimu.......kerna kuterhanyut mencintai dia......inilah salahku yang memberi ruang......

Cerita Indah Namun Tiada Arah......

2009-09-29T10:29:00.003+08:00

Cinta datang
Tanpa diundang
Seumur masa tercipta

Dia datang bagai sakti
Bagai menyaksi mekar
Kembang pagi

Kadangkala aku rasa ingin luahkan segalanya
Rahsia yang tersimpa di dada sekian lama
Namun kelu terus membisu menatap wajahmu
Daku malu tapi tak mahu kehilanganmu

Biarkan aku menjaga perasaan ini
Menjaga segenap cinta yang telah kau beri
Engkau pergi aku takkan pergi
Kau menjauh aku takkan jauh
Sebenarnya diriku masih mengharapkanmu

Bagai bayu berlagu
Yang masih ku merindu
Kaulah segalanya
Erti cinta
Ku menunggu masa kita
Akhirnya hm... hm...

p/s1 : Janganlah mencari cinta...sebaliknya biarlah cinta datang mencari kita......
p/s2: Kadang2 kita tidak mencari cinta.....sebaliknya cinta tetap hadir dalam jiwa

Lelaki Scorpio

2009-09-28T14:40:00.000+08:00

I found this from a blog that belongs to the person that I am not sure if I fall in love with.....

1. suka sembang
2. suka org yg syg padanya
3. suka ambil jln tengah
4. sgt menawan n sopan santun
5. kecantikan luar n dalam
6.tidak pandai berbohong n berpura2
7.sentiasa berkawan
8. hatinya mudah terusik tetapi merajuknya tidak lama
9. cpt marah
10. daya firasat yg sgt kuat
11. pengasih, penyayang n lembut
12. ambil berat ttg org lain
13. boros n nudah dipengaruhi persekitaran
14. lelaki yg sensitif, mudah terguris n sering kesunyian
15. sukar mempercayai org lain
16. mempunyai karisma yg tinggi
17. penasihat yg baik dimana mampu membaca n memahami
18. sering mencapai apa yg dihajati
19. sanggup menunggu bertahun lamanya untuk sesuatu yg dihajati
20. tidak suka berehat atau bercuti utk tempoh yg panjang kerana baginya byk perkara perlu diselesaikan
21. jenis yg str8 forward
22. serius ttg janji
23. sering lepak bersama kwn2
24. lelaki yg kompleks
25. suka dihormati n digemari
26. jika jatuh cinta, scorpio akan mencintai sedalamnya tetapi tidak mudah untuk jatuh cinta

Syawal: Mencari Pengertian.....

2009-09-28T11:49:00.001+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri.....
Maaf Zahir Batin.....

Berertikah 1 Syawal sekiranya tidak disambut bersama ibu bapa?

Berertikah 1 Syawal sekiranya kita memilih untuk berjauhan daripada keluarga?

Berertikah 1 Syawal sekiranya juadah yang disediakan semuanya dibeli, bukan dimasak bersama ahli keluarga?

Berertikah 1 Syawal sekiranya laungan takbir disambut sepi?

Inilah kehidupan yang harus dinilai dalam mencari sebuah pengertian.....

Renung-renungkan......

Waiting....

2009-09-14T12:21:00.001+08:00

Should I wait for things that cannot be expected????

Should I wait after I've been waiting for four month long??

Should I wait after no news over two weeks???

Should I wait when there is options in front??

Should I wait for a person to come to me when I am not sure where the person is???

And I am still waiting....

p/s: .........

1 Syawal : The End of Ramadhan

2009-09-09T14:19:00.001+08:00

While I'm writing this, Hari raya is just 11 days to go. Well Hari Raya for me has nothing different. Starting next week, I'll be busy doing the preparation especially to weave the 'ketupat'. Plus all the other things that need to be done. Luckily, I shop for my Baju Raya earlier this year.

This year as usual, I'll be celebrating in KL. The only different is I will only be in Melaka on the second day of Syawal and I choose not to stay overnight. Well I am big enough, so there is no way I can stay longer at my grandparents house.

Always many time, people ask me " Tak balik kampung ke?"

My standard answer will be, "Balik. Kampung Cheras Baru."

Then, they will say, "That is not kampung."

For me it is my kampung. Kampung Cheras Baru. And no others. It has been 26 years I celebrated my Hari Raya at KL. It just as fun as other places. I do think I want to uphold the tradition. hahahha.....

So, for KL folks, let's holds the tradition of celebrating Raya here.

A Story of Ramadhan and Independence.....

2009-09-02T15:17:00.000+08:00

This year National Day (Read : Merdeka) was very remarkable as it falls into Ramadhan (Read : Fasting month). For the first time in my life, Merdeka is celebrated without concert and fireworks. Still it is ok for me, because obviously I am not that kind of party people that much. So here, I'll write hos the celebration for thsi year happen........

National Day - I've been busy since a week before that. I landed up a last minute job a one private function on the Merdeka eve itself. It was Mr. Guys2Men, whoch is simillar to Manhunt and Project Runaway concept. Well I was the MC plus my housemate was the representative for the Kosas Republic. So I was busy preparing the outfit, dance training and catwalk training. It took most of my nights and I was not sleep for three days straight.

Ramadhan - Well this is the year of moderation. My first day fasting went well only to find out my mom did not cook a special dish for me like what we did normally. So I end up taking up 'Ayam Masak Merah' that were bought downstrairs. What a moderate life. The rest it is the same. Only on the sixth day of Ramadhan, I had a dinner at Grand Millenium hotel with ........(read: secret). It's quite romantice because after that we walk down under a rainy day to Pavilion. Anyway I'm still craving for 'Kek Batik'. Anybody knows which Bazar sell it????

So that is my story for Ramadhan and National Day.......The next will be Raya Preparation and why I choose to be in KL. Stay tuned.

Apabila Kebosanan Melanda....

2009-08-13T12:34:00.000+08:00

Sudah lama saya tidak menulis dalam bahasa Melayu. Dengan itu, untuk paparan kali ini, saya membuat keputusan untuk menulis bahasa Melayu.

Pernah atau tidak anda semua terfikir yang perkara yang hidup anda penuh kebosanan. Hari ini, saya sampai ke pejabat untuk kesekelian kalinya dan mendapati hidup ini sungguh membosankan. Tidak ada cabaran baik di tempat kerja ataupun di mana jua. Sungguh membosankan.

Oleh itu, apabila kebosanan melanda, inilah perkara yang saya lakukan:

- Membaca. Saya suka membaca. Ketika zaman internet belum melanda, saya suka membaca novel, majalah, komik, surat khabar lama dan apa sahaja yang boleh saya baca. Ini termasuklah catatan lama seperti nota. Membaca seolah-olah menyebabkan saya khayal dalam dunia saya.

- Melukis (baca: menconteng). Saya sangatlah tidah mahor dalam bidang lukisan. Malah tulisan saya juga sangat hodoh dan buruk. Maka saya akan mengambil sekeping kertas kosong dan menconteng apa sahaja yang terlintas di hati saya.

- Bermuhasabah diri (baca: bercakap seorang diri). Ini ialah satu perkara pelik yang saya suka lakukan. Apabila saya bercakap dengan diri saya, saya merasakan ada orang lain yang mendengar dan memahai apa yang saya cuba sampaikan.

- Memandu. Sejak saya ada lesen memandu, saya suka memandu berseorangan. Destinasi tidak ditentukan kerana saya hanya mengikut ke mana sahaja gerak hati saya berkata. Sungguh mengasyikkan.

Itulah perkara yang akan saya lakukan sekiranya saya bosan. Anda pula bagaimana?

p/s: Bahasa jiwa bangsa.....saya sungguh berbangga kerana berjaya menulis dalam bahasa Melayu.

My Life Quote....

2009-08-11T17:47:00.001+08:00

I was updating something on the net, when sudddenly I just realize that how nice words can be arrange to produce a beautiful sentence.

For me I like to quote from movie or song as it always beeing structure to give it metaphore.

Here are some that I always use (you can guess from which movie/song/books that I quote this)

- Hidup ini macam anak panah.....

- Kalau ada, adalah...nak buat macam mana, bukan kerja kita

- Kekasih yang tak dianggap.....

- A jerk is always jerk....

- Jangan asyik merenung bulan, hingga lupa rumput di bumi.....

- Science is to reason.....

- Sejauh mana kita melangkah, akhirnya ke masjid jua....

The top three is the one that I always used. Guess from where it comes??

Harry Potter : Is It Magic????

2009-07-20T14:40:00.000+08:00

I am a big fan of Harry Potter. I really found that a story bout young wizard that attended a wizardry school in when he had no idea that he is the only wizard that can defeat the greatest dark wizard of all time really amuse me. The friendship and the family within Harry Potter really did touched my heart sometimes. I in fact learn to understand how every speel is different from one another and start imaging that the wand, sopophorous beans, aconite, bezoar, broomstick, hippogriffs really exist.

However watching the latest series of Harry Potter movie (the Half Blood Prince) really upset me. I was wondering, after a great deal in HP5, is this the best they can do for HP6. What a waste. As a spoiler read some of my review here:

Spell Casting
I do think I can count the times a spell is cast in this movie. I know they learn about non-verbal spell but seriously, I don't think they realize that wand is an important element in any magical world. Even the wizard duel only allows wand usage. It is only Confundus, Sectumsumpura, Lumos, Petrificus Totalus, Finite, Finite Inflamare and Aguamenti. The rest I don't think they are aware they have a wand. I start to think, is this a story about a real world or magizal world? Hmmm.....

Unwanted Scene
What the heck is David Yates thinking. He ignore the scene needed for people to enjoy the movie and he add a scene about Bellatrix Lestrange and Fenrir Greyback attacking The Burrow. Didn't he know that The Burow under Fidelius Charm and the secret keeper is Arthur Weasley. There is no way Bellatrix and Fenrir can infiltrate The Burrow which has become the headquarters for the Order of the Pheonix once they abandaned Grimmauld Palace. He seriously need to read the boook and understand the magic first.

Battle at Hogwarts
He remove this. Are you out of your mind. This is the real climax for the movie. Watching the fight with Bill, Remus, Tonks, McGonnagol and Flitwick leading the Hogwarts to fight the Death Eater inside the castle. I was so upset they remove the most important part of the movie.

Love Scene
It just too much. I was thinking that this might be "The Love Story at Hogwarts". Less magic and more love. I just hate.

In short, David Yates relly spoil the whole Harry Potter. I don't think he read the books. He should just stop directing the movie and read the books first. Or maybe, I can call my nine years old brother to recite the whole story to him so that he can understand.

p/s: Wish David Yates read this.....I hate him for failling miserabbly.

The Life Chronicles.....

2009-07-15T18:27:00.001+08:00

I've been thinking so much letly about my life, till I figure out that I've been in too many places for a reason. So, I was thinking on listing it down and find the reason why I was there once upon a time....

Kampung Segambut Permai, Kuala Lumpur (1983 - 1988)
It's the place where I was born and spent my early childhood time. It's a settlement at the suburbs of Kuala Lumpur and yes it still exist. The only thing that does not exist is my old father's house. It was replaced with the TNB transmission tower years ago when the government decided to take over it.

Seksyen 19, Shah Alam, Selangor (1988 - 1995)
Where I finish most of my primary school. I know quite a lot of people. The most remarkable thing when I was here: my house so closed to the mosque till I learn a lot of Islamic activity here.

Sungai Rambai, Melaka (1995 - 1999)
I hardly stay as this was my secondary school period. Throughtout the four years I think, I spent less that six monbth here. I couldn't recall much on this place.

Sungai Petani, Kedah (1996 - 2000)
Spent my secondary school here at the very infamous boarding school. However, this was the place I started to learn about love and life. It's quite memorable expereince but I try to forget this place as I much as I try to keep it in my mind. Simple reason, this place brought too much glory as much as damages to me.

Setapak, Kuala Lumpur (2000 - 2009)
My family moved here after a very controversial episode in Melaka. At first, things was hard. But we manage to pull through it and realize we were just meant to be KL people. We can't live outside KL anymore. We,ve tried but it never worked. So just faced the fact that we were so used to be in KL. this period is when I pursue my education and started my career life.

Tronoh, Perak (2001 - 2005)
My study time. It's quite enjoyable with my best friends here. I did enjoy myself here and meet somebody here. Time really, when I realize the play time has ended and now it's time to be serious.

Segamat, Johor (2004)
My internship time. A town in Johor that quite lonely. I learn a lot but I just cannot live here. It's so bored. No movies and nothing here. Although the food is quite nice.

Ampang, Selangor (2009 - now)
Now I am in Ampang. I learn that I need to be tough so I quit from family's house and learn the hard way. It's quite challenging but I want to test my best abilities. Plus, my friends is here to support me.

So where is my next pit stop?????

Sungai Petani : The Third....

2009-07-15T18:14:00.000+08:00

And the Sungai Petani chronicles, continue.....

Well this time, it's Din and it was in Shah Alam. As a surprise he married my classmate in F5 which is Siti Malissa. Surprised......

This time only Ed and me make the way to Shah Alam. The rest was tight up with things as this was kinda surprise for all of us. Anyway congratulatins for him and Malissa

Quitting or Staying

2009-06-03T14:12:00.000+08:00

This year is seriously a miserable year for me.

First, between me and my boss, we can no longer talk to each other. I hate her so much up untill I never want to see her face.

Wish I can do something better that I like most. Anyway when the times come, I shall quit this industry and join the industry that I like. Anyway it's always my aim since I was in the second year.

To all my friends, sorry I have to neglect all of you now........I am tight up with a few things now. When the times come you guys will know what happen.

Sungai Petani: The Second of the Eighth

2009-06-03T14:09:00.001+08:00

I still choose Sungai Petani even this time I do not have to travel to Sungai Petani. This time it is Hadi to end up his bachelor time. Well it does follow the sequence.

Anyway Hadi congrats and see you this Sunday.

Disappointed......

2009-04-08T18:52:00.000+08:00

Lately, I always feel I've been demotivated alot and thing I am the real curse of my life. Sometimes I even think, why do I exist???

This year has started with an arguemnt with my current boss. Nowadays I called her crazy woman. Never in history I was shouting up untill the whole floor heard about it. To make things worse, I started my negative attitude back.

Well, it's enjoyable and to be frank it's kind of fun. Never has this feeling for about one year. So now I am playing a game of negativity. It suitesb me well though. Even some of my friends still like my positive attitude. But negative does pays off.

p/s: Let's added some negative force to the universe to balance out the positive so that we can have a neutral world.

CNY : Another Episode in Life.....

2009-01-28T16:18:00.000+08:00

The past four days, I got a very long weekend off. Well it was a Chinese New year holiday. So first and foremost, Happy Chinese New Year to my Chinese friends all over the world.

The holiday started not in a good mood. A friend of mine told me that somebody that I hate (the two face person in my previous post) was here. I started to feel that the shiny sky faded away and replaced by the endless stormy rain. It did happen (in my imagination). That guy started to take my good friends away from me. He even bring his little brothers that make me feel want to vomit even I saw them for a second. Well he started to play his two faces character by creating a gossip and speculation about haw bad am I to all my friends. Luckily, it didn't work as all my friends knew about him.

Then, the whole Saturday, I suppose to go out with my partner for a lunch and some shopping to do. What did he did??? He took her out by the reason to sent out his little, stupid, and annoying brother home. I knew they had been friends longer than I met her. So there goes my Saturday plan as well. The bad thing, they didn't even sent his little brother home, but they went for a movie. How uncool is that? As if I am not able to spent her a movie. Well, he did earn 10k per month (according to him), but do you have to do that?

On the Sunday, my partner ask me if I want to go to Genting with all of our friends. To solve the matter, I agree with her. We went to Genting. It turns out, that two face bastard was there with all of his freaky brothers. Things get worse. I left early and left my partner at the top of Genting. I went back with my friends and let her went back with him. The bad thing her house key is with me. She was mad at me, even didn't want to speak a word to me when she took the key from me.

Monday, I was sad. Luckily, my brother (not biological) ask me to come to his home, as he cook something. He is a steward with SIA and hardly in Malaysia. He told me to cool off and relax a bit. He even ask to stay with him the whole day as it will be his last day of holiday before he went of to fly again. The night, I went out to meet all my friends and suddenly she was 'texting' me asking where am I? I was surprised, up until she grabbed my hands and brought me back to my car. We argued on a few things and she calm me down by saying I do not need to be that jealous. It is always me that she will come in the end. But she did admit she is confuse as that two face guy always ask her out if he knew that we got plan to do something. Lastly, she say that I do not have to worry on anything. So we are happy again.

Tuesday, my last day of holiday and suddenly my friends call me up at 4.30 in the morning ask to go to Cameron Highlands. I was reluctant in the beginning but agree at the end. So there goes my Sunday and I do not have enough rest.

So, there goes another special episode for CNY break. To that two face guy, you are the most bastard people I have ever met. I do hope people will know you true colors soon. Also I do hope one day, you will get a revenge on everything that you did. Like the old Malay proverbs, "Meludah ke langit, Akhirnya jatuh ke muka jua".

p/s : To that stupid two face guy, don't ever think you ever safe. One day you will know the reality. Another thing, your stupid, freak, and annoying little brothers can stop dreaming of become an engineer. I know who they are, just one single thing that I need to do and their dream will end forever.

A Bad Day......

2009-01-13T14:12:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, things just happen.....

Yesterday, was a bad day for my friends. And yes it was for me as well as I caought the person cheating again......

Where is my lucky charm for 2009?

p/s : Silver lining sometimes is a myth.....

Two Faces......

2009-01-08T11:59:00.000+08:00

Have you ever experience meet a person with two faces??? (not Two Face as in Batman).

Last few days, I've met a person that is older than me (32 years old) and has a stable career and life. He is also manage to open his own business. But, he is so immature and always play the two faces and firestone role when few of my friends are not in good terms. He is always try to break everybody apart.

One thing that I do not understand is that he always talk at the people's back. He do not have the guts to say it upfront. He always talk so load and boasted everything like he's the best man in the world. In the end, he is actually showing off his tru colours.

Now he is afraid people that witness the incident will cross over him. He in fact told all of us to keep our mouth shut or he'll come down from the north to beat us up. Come on, be a man, face it that you really did it. A man is a person that stand by all of his word and action. He should face us like a man. Not like a mice that can only dance when the cat is not around.

p/s : Maturity is something that reflects your life. Sometime, your ego overcome your maturity.

WQF 4353....The Truth Finally Smiling at Me

2009-01-05T16:16:00.000+08:00

Finally I know the truth.....you are not the person I thought you were. In fact you are the same as the other bitches.

p/s: I've wasted my time because of you.

Another Year Has Come.......2009

2009-01-02T16:15:00.000+08:00

Another year has come. Again, when it's new year, people will talk wbout new wishes. Well for me, there is only one new wish whis is 'I will have a better year for 2009 in all aspect of my life'. This is really a big wish as 2008 was really a bad and terrible year for me. no lucky stars, no feng shui shui and no everything. The only thing that I had, was a bad omen......

Anyway, my ndew year's eve party was tremendous. I was with all my friends happily enjoyed ourself. The good thing was I bought a new t-shirt at Philosophy Men just for the new year's eve celebration. My hair and make up was done by a professional make up artist (the same make up artist that do Awan Dania). It was so amazing. Plus my other half also wearing the outfit that I newly bought.

Other good things was my other friends also get together with his other half. After a really bad fight between, now they are back together. It is a good start for my 2009. Hopefully, the good things will keep the momentum up untill 31st december where I will again celebrate the new year's eve with I do not know who.

p/s: Happy new year....to S..., you really make my day..........to E... and A......, somebosy is really jealous for you too and try to separate both of you.

Sungai Petani : And the Journey Continues......

2008-12-31T09:25:00.000+08:00

It's quite sometimes since I wrote my last post. Simple reason for that, I was on leave for a week and really use that to 'chill out' with my friends and rest my mind a bit from the work. Even though I did not go to any vacation, but this is the time that I can do things out of my daily work routine. To be frank, I am still not sure if I am totally rejuve but at least it's a great time to do something different.

Remember on the post where I wrote about going to Sungai Petani on 27th December. Well, It did happen. Let me just make a long journey short to tell you what happenend on the trip. On the ning of 26th December, I was 'lepakking' (sorry didn't know the best Englisg word to use) at one of my friend's house in Wangsa Maju. We just listen to the music, chit chatting and enjoy the moment untill around 6.30 in the morning of 27th December. Around 8 am, I send one of my friend to LRT because he worked that day and after that I headed back home. After super fast packing and quick shower, I started my journey to Sungai Petani around 9 am and only stop at Kepong for refuelling. I took Sungai Buloh exit and headed straight to the north. I stopped at Tapah for a quick break and continue my journey and faced with 1 hour of traffic jam at Ipoh. later, I continued driving and stopped at Semanggol for a shower and prepare myself for the wedding. I reached Sungai petani around 2.30 pm and my first reaction was totally surprised. It was no longer the old Sungai petani. In fact my old school is no longer surrounded by the greenaries. Shoplots and shopping mall is just in front of my school. I can't believe that in eight years time, so many things has changed. The wedding was nice. Among the eight, only me, Fardy and Mokh can make while the rest was busy with their own agenda and send their regards and wishes through us. I left Sungai petani around 4.30 pm and drove with few stops and reach KL around 11 pm. So I didn't sleep from friday till Saturday night, when I realize I promise my friends to help him with some of his work. So I just take a shower and go to his place and do the work untill next morning. I feel really tired but really enjoy the day bacause it just made me realize, we can go as far as we want as long as we are very determined to do it.

On the 28th December, I just slept wbout two hours (10 am - 12 noon) before get myself ready for another wedding. It is my class monitor when I was in Standard 6. Again the wedding was so nice and lovely but I couldn't spot any of my school friends except one or two.

Anyway, I feel really great that my annual leave ended with something that is really significant to me. Also it may be good ending after a horrible year of 2008. Can't hardly wait for 2009 (hope it will be a better year).

Looking Back......

2008-12-16T14:40:00.000+08:00

I used to stand tall.
I used to be a cold hearted.
I never cry.
I never regret.
I always live with my mistakes.
I always look forward.
I always take things negatively.

That was me a year back. I always challenge people for beeing warm and soft hearted. I prefer to play the role of negativity. I always think that I live alone and never threat anybody as my friends.

This year 2007, things has changed a lot. Few of my friends manage to change my style. I start beeing a little considerate and soft hearted. I start to care people feelings and start to think I am no longer the best. I start to look high to other people instead of look down to them. I start to be more reserved and quiet instead of stood tall.

The consequences....

I lack of motivation. I have no drive in life. I always sad. I am no longer people of action. I like to think before take any steps. I am more depressed. In short, I become less confidence. I take everything as a fate and never wants to challenge it back. I even ask myself, is this the life that I wnt to live. My life which once is easier and challenging, becomes boring and dificult. I feel even lonelier. I start to consider that I am a human again which totally does not suit me.

I start to think again....

Why did I changed? Why I must changed? Why the change has to take place? Some of my friends say the change is good. It looks good on the physical, but on the inside I am more fragile.

In short, this is a terrible year for me. Few weeks to finish it before I start a new year and I do hope next year will be much better. I might change again for next year. really looking forward to close down this horrible year.....and move on.

Kadang-kadang.....

2008-12-16T14:30:00.000+08:00

Kadang-kadang.....

Kita jauh melangkah ke hadapan, tanpa sempat menoleh ke belakang melihat kemusnahan yang kita lakukan....

Kita terlalu asyik merenung bulan tinggi di awan, hingga terlupa rumput di bumi....

Kita terlalu gembira dengan kemenangan, hingga terlupa pada kepayahan....

Kita terlalu melayan kesedihan, hingga terlupa pada kehidupan....

Kita terlalu asyik dengan kebendaan, hingga terlupa nilai kemanusiaan....

Kita terlalu mengasihani orang, hingga terlupa perassan diri...

Kita terlalu mengaharap sinar rembulan, hingga terlupa suria yang memancar.....

Kita leka mengejar duniawi, hingga terlupa saham ukhrawi......

Hakikatnya....

Kita selalu menilai kebendaan hingga kita lupa, sejauh mana kita melangkah, akhirnya ke masjid jua....

Belut tetap pulang ke lumpur.
Sirih tetap pulang ke gagang.

p/s: Renung-renungkan dan selamat beramal

Sungai Petani : Where Everything Begins......

2008-12-11T10:41:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I've met my old school friends......reason, he's gonna get married.....the first of the eight. Obviously, I am happy because he is one of my closest friends when I'm back in Sungai Petani.

Yes, Sungai Petani. I used to be there for five years where I start to learn the new world. Expanding my circle of friends. I've met so many people there. And there where I learned about life. I start to know how to live on my own. Start to understand how to life should be and think about what I should I do in mylife. My life in Sungai petani was a wonderfull one. But the best moment I guess, when I was in Form 5 where I grab so many vistory with all my friends. The best part winning the hockey tournament with all eight of us. I am the team manager and my good friends suppose to be the captain.

Speaking of the eight, let me explain about it in 'wh-' manner:

What
It's my friends that so close when we are form 5. It started with 3 people calling themselves as '3JK' and expanded into 8 after a while. We start calling ourselves as "Clique" after that

Who
The '3JK' is Fardy, Shah and Din. Later, they were join by Ed, Hadi, Mokh, Pian and me. We move in pairs (like Akatsuki) and the pairs are : Ed-Hadi, Fardy-Shah, Me-Pian and Mokh-Din.

Where
We met when we were young and still schooling. Still continue as a good friends till now. Now, Ed is in Putrajaya (going to married soon), Fardy in Kota Damansara, Pian in German, Mokh in Melaka, Hadi in Bintulu, Shah in Kajang, Din in Ipoh (I guess) and me somewhere in KL.

When
Sometimes around form 4/5.

We used to do things together. Sometimes some of our friends join in as well. Just to name a few Harris, Megat, Fakhrul. The most memorable thing was 'Buka Puasa' on the first day when we were form 5 where we enjoy ourselves with everybody got something to be shared. Of course, the hockey that will never be forgetten at all. The last time we met together was in 2003 when we sent Pian to German. This time, Mokh and Din cannot make it.

So on this coming 27 December, I'm going to Sungai Petani for Ed's wedding. I feel so excited to go back there and meet my friends back (minus the blacklisted one).

So, Sungai petani, here I come....

p/s : It's another road trip this time.......

Confuse

2008-12-02T15:34:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I always feel I'm confuse....

Not sure what to do? Not sure where to go? And not sure what I'm suppose to do? Sometime things keep on changing in my head in split second......One second I feel like eating KFC, the nxt thing I want to do is going to JM Beriani......by the time I park my car, it's in Permaisuri......surely I am confuse.......

What to do? Just follow where ur heart and mind bring you.....

p/s : WQF 4353.........I never blame you on what happen but I just can't say it.....

WQF 4353

2008-11-28T16:01:00.000+08:00

WQF 4353......Why it is so hard to just forget about u?......

It's nearly two weeks, but u really turn my life upside down......

Into the "Black" Field

2008-11-27T19:52:00.000+08:00

I finally made my decision to switch to blogspot......hopefully I will be able to start blogging and enhance my writing skill. Given it Malay or English.

FYI, I used to be a good writeer last time...so let's blog.

p/s: This is my second because Limau tagged me first......need to migrate some of my post in previous blog to here